Every Stitch Tells a Story. Look Back and Smile

The past 2 weeks have been well…a rollercoaster ride through a tornado. So let me tell you the story. It’s a long one, so buckle up buttercup and strap in.

Last Tuesday, June 30th, I got a call from the Director of the play that my daughter is in. I could hear her in the background hysterically crying. As a mom, it’s the worst feeling in the world.I immediately went into Mama Bear mode. My poor baby had been jumping out of excitement and when she came down, she rolled her ankle so badly that she her a crack. When i got there, her ankle was the size of a grapefruit.  We immediately rushed to the ER.

After being there for 6.5 hours, having 2 sets of X-rays done, and seeing multiple doctors, they determined that she had a pretty bad sprain. They gave her a walking boot and sent her home. they told me to follow up with her doctors. Well, it was the holiday weekend and I didn’t think we would be seen so I waited until the following week.

I called her doctor and got her seen pretty quickly. They reviewed the X-rays and told us it was most likely fractured and she needed to see an Orthopedic Specialist. They provided us with a referral to Shriners Hospital and said we would be hearing from them within 24 hours.

Wouldn’t you know, only a few hours later, they called. In the history of my life, I have never had doctors be so on top of things. I was thrilled. They made us an appointment to be seen THE NEXT DAY! In what world does that happen?

Now while all of this is going on, I’m still working my full time job, teaching at two different places and making sure that my sister’s house was taken care of while she was away. To say I was tired would be an understatement. But you gotta do what you gotta do. There ain’t no rest for the wicked.

We go to Shriners hospital and are seen by a pediatric orthopedic doctor. When we arrived, I immediately ask the security guard if I can drive the little Shriners cars. Emmeline was already yelling at me for being ‘weird’. It’s like she doesn’t even know me!

When we saw the doctor, she asked for another set of X-rays since the others were from so long ago. (A week, but who am I to question?) Off she went to get more bone pictures. (I wasn’t invited this time because I embarrassed her too much the last time.) the doctor determined that there was no fracture. Thank goodness! HOWEVER, based on where the bruising was and the fact that the bruise wasn’t getting smaller, she determined that Em had badly damaged the ligaments between her Tibia and her Fibula. She said we had a few options:

1. We could send Emmeline for an MRI to see how badly the tear was and determine if surgery was necessary

2. Put Emmeline in a hard cast to allow the ligaments to heal on their own and properly without movement.

3. Let her continue to wear the walking boot and hope for the best

After much discussion and the doctor providing a Monty Python reference to a teenager who didn’t get it (epic mom fail there), I felt that the hard cast was the way to go.

She begrudgingly had the cast put on and was fitted for crutches. She sobbed like no other because who wants to be in a cast in the summer time. SHE HAS PLANS! Her last day of school was June 24th and this was only a few weeks in. How could this be happening to her?

My heart broke for her. I knew that the cast was the best option for now. But I also know how much it is killing her to not be able to go to do the things she wanted to this summer. She won’t be able to go the beach or ride her bike or walk around town with her friends. There will be no Six Flags trips or floating in the pool or just having the care free summer she envisioned. All my heart strings snapped like a too taught guitar string.

I know she is resilient and I know this is just a storm that will pass. In years from now, she will laugh at this situation like we all do when we look back at the times we felt the lowest. She will say “remember that time I jumped and f-ed up my ankle! Hahaha”

But me, I will look back and think about all the things I didn’t do right. How I didn’t call the doctor soon enough or how I didn’t press the ER staff to do more for her. I will think about how she shouldn’t have been walking on her ankle for a week. I will think about all the things I could have and should have done to make sure that she is ok. I will not look back and laugh. I will look back and mourn the loss of her summer and think about all the things I should have done.

Now, with all of that said, this is to show you that my life outside of the knitting world can be messy and I really only show you the ‘teacher who can knit’ side of me. So with this yucky situation, let me see if I can teach something else. This makes me think about how others look back on their knitting or how they present the projects they have made. Ever hear someone say “I made this sweater but I don’t like [insert whatever here]. It’s the same as how I will look back at this event for my daughter. “It turned out ok and everything is fine, but look at everything I did wrong.”

So if I can impart a few words of wisdom. Don’t do that. Don’t be like me. Don’t showcase all the things that could have or should have been with your knitting. When you tell someone you made your sweater/hat/scarf/mittens, just be proud of what you have done. They don’t need to know all the what should have been or what you could have done better. They just need to know that you did it and it is fabulous.

So be like Emmeline. Look back and say “I did it. I made it through and I am still fabulous.”